Guest Blog: You Can't Reach Everyone the Same Way

Kathleen Kennedy, ARP

Kathleen Kennedy found me online and made contact to invite me to present at the Thrive Conference, an event she co-leads with Dr. Naomi Hall for school and district leaders. I've had the chance to present there twice now, and both times I left the conversation thinking about Kathleen's work as much as my own.

She's the founder and president of the Center for Communication & Engagement, and her firm has helped school districts across the country secure over $1.3 billion in school funding. But what she's writing about here is something most PL ignores: people don't all communicate the same way, and that's not a personal failing. It's a design problem. If you've ever walked out of a leadership conversation thinking "why didn't that land?" — this post is for you.

You Can't Reach Everyone the Same Way (And That's Not Their Problem)

by: Kathleen Kennedy, APR

There's a moment every educator knows. You've just shared something important — a new initiative, a hard piece of feedback, a parent concern — and you can see it land differently with each person in the room. One person is already asking, "What's next?" Another wants to talk about how the team is feeling. One is furiously taking notes. And someone else is wondering why you didn't lead with the data.

Nobody in that room is wrong. They're just operating from different communication systems — and until we comprehend those systems, we'll keep expecting people to come to us instead of us going to them.

That's the heart of what I call the Communication Operating Structure.

Your Communication Operating System

Through my work in strategic communications with school districts across the country, I've come to rely on a simple framework built around four Communication Operating Structures: the Controller, the Promoter, the Supporter, and the Analyzer. Think of each one as a home base — where a person naturally lives in terms of how they send and receive information. When you know someone's home base, you stop talking at them and start connecting with them.

Here's a quick snapshot of each:

The Controller is task-driven and fast-paced. They want results, not rapport. Walk into a meeting with a Controller and skip the pleasantries — they're already thinking about outcomes. Controllers want to know what you need, why it matters, and what success looks like. They are direct, decisive, and confident. What trips them up? Slowing down long enough to read the emotional temperature of a room. They can come across as blunt when they mean to be efficient.

The Promoter is relationship-driven and fast-paced. They know everyone, energize every room they walk into, and have a gift for rallying people around an idea. They're the ones who make your PD feel like an event, and your committee meetings feel like a team. The watch-out? Details. Deadlines. Follow-through. Promoters lead with enthusiasm, which is a superpower — until the paperwork doesn't get done.

The Supporter is relationship-driven and slower-paced. Many educators live here, which is no surprise — teaching is a calling that runs on empathy. Supporters are the people who remember your kid's name, check in on colleagues after a hard week, and give everything to everyone else. The challenge? They regularly struggle to advocate for themselves, set limits, or deliver hard feedback. They'll absorb tension before they'll name it, and they might cry when you go over the negative components of their performance review.

The Analyzeris task-driven and slower-paced. Scientists, engineers, mathematicians — this is their home. Analyzers need time, data, and certainty before they commit. They are precise and logical, and they will find the flaw in your plan before you've finished explaining it. That's not a negative — it's a gift. The challenge is that they can get stuck in the research phase and struggle to move until every variable is accounted for.

The Real Skill: Meeting People Where They Are

Knowing your own operating structure is useful. Knowing other people's is transformational.

Here's what it looks like in practice:

A Promoter talking to a Controller.This is one of the most common friction points in schools. The Promoter walks in warm and excited, sharing the vision, and the Controller is already evaluating whether this person is prepared. The move: lower your energy before you walk in the door. Skip the story about how you came up with the idea. Lead with the headline. Temper the hand gestures. This isn't about being less of yourself, it's about being more of what the controller needs in that moment.

A Supporter communicating with a parent who's a Controller. A Supporter's natural instinct is to soften everything, to make sure the parent is understood before they hear anything hard. A Controller parent reads that as stalling. Get to the point. Name the issue. Offer the solution. Then ask if they have questions.

An Analyzer presenting to the school board.Superintendents are often Controllers, results-oriented, big-picture thinkers. An Analyzer who leads with fifteen slides of methodology before getting to the recommendation will lose them in the first five minutes. The adjustment: lead with the conclusion, then offer the evidence as backup. Let them ask for more depth rather than making them sit through it.

A Controller giving feedback to a Supporter.What the Controller sees as direct and effective, the Supporter experiences as harsh. The Controller doesn't need to abandon honesty — but they do need to add a beat of human connection before the critique. A single remark of acknowledgment changes everything.

Why This Matters in Schools

Communication breakdowns in schools are rarely about intelligence or intention. They're about people with different operating structures talking past each other — and no shared language to name what's happening.

When educators understand their own operating structure and can identify others', something shifts. Parent conversations get less tense. Leadership teams make decisions faster. Teachers feel more seen by their administrators. And administrators stop wondering why their messages aren't landing.

I've seen this play out in districts. When we invest in communication training — real, practical, reflective training — we stop losing good people to avoidable conflict. We stop watching important initiatives die because the messenger and the audience never quite connect.

Want to Bring This Work to Your District?

Kathleen offers Communication Operating Structure training for leadership teams, teacher cohorts, and district-wide professional development. If you’ve ever thought, “I just can’t reach this parent,” or “I don’t know why my team isn’t hearing me,” - this is where Kathleen starts.