Changing Language to Change Interactions
This month's blog, cross-posted from Resonance Educational Consulting, is written by Resonance Ed's Creator of Coaching Content, founder of Plan Z Professional Learning Services, and co-author of the book The Minimalist Teacher, Tammy Musiowsky-Borneman.
We know how much words matter, especially when it comes to teaching. The words we communicate with can make or break a student's educational experience and feelings about school. So the times you said, "That's a thoughtful project you created!" or "Why did you do that?" or "I am disappointed in you," someone internalized those words.
To ensure we use supportive language with students, we must slow down our desire to say words reactively and, instead, mindfully and intentionally choose the right words. For example, providing feedback to students about their interactions with others' work is potentially more important than giving feedback about academics.
Telling students they "shouldn't do" or "can't do" something is different from talking about why someone would say something to another person or providing them with a model for the expectation.
Think about the "class rules" when you were growing up. What kinds of phrases were on the list? How about when you introduce students to classroom expectations? Are they often saying what they shouldn't do rather than what they should? Why is that? It's because we are hardwired to find the negative. It's what our brains do.
To make some shifts toward positive language and phrases that show we are thinking beyond what we can't or shouldn't do, we can be thoughtful about the words we use in conversations with students, so they can also change their use of language.
We can retrain ourselves and teach our students more positive and thoughtful ways to say things so no one feels shut down or judged and instead feel like they are heard and valued.
Instead of…. Use or Say
Class Rules Class Expectations
“Don’t do that/say that” “What makes you say that?”
“Why did you say/do that?” “Tell me about what you were thinking when you said/did that.”
“I am disappointed in you.” “I am disappointed in the choice you made.”
“Great job on your project.” “You showed your understanding by [specific learning target or behavior].”
“Stop running!” “We walk inside.”
When we explicitly say and model what we expect students to do using positive language, students respond more positively, which may translate to their interactions with each other. When I made these changes, I noticed that my students were calmer when responding to me and each other. So retraining myself was worth the effort.
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If you are interested in this topic connect with Krista Leh and Tammy Musiowsky-Borneman on Twitter!
